Benched...

Agh. I was thisclose to actually getting myself into a workout routine. I had convinced myself that I was capable of getting to the gym three times a week and doing some form of exercise the days I didn't go. Keep in mind, for me personally, this was huge. In my previous attempts at re-inventing myself the only reason I would go to a gym on Monday is so I didn't have to go on Tuesday. I would have my list of excuses ready on Wednesday and by Friday I didn't even want to talk about it. I have a bad habit of making excuses instead of progress when it comes to working out, but this time I felt different. I realize this entire process has only been a few weeks but it's the frame of mind I'm referring to and not so much the results I wanted. So imagine my dismay when I see my doctor and BAM...he tells me I can't work out until he sees me again in two weeks. In the meantime, I have to schedule a stress test and renal ultrasound. WTF? Stupid blood pressure. Apparently, getting dizzy while working out is not a good sign. I figured it was my body's retaliation, but then my heart rate started doing a crazy dance and I felt like someone pushed the treadmill two feet away from me while I was walking on it. Don't worry, I held on, there is no funny falling down story to be had here and you know I would tell you if there was. Like the time I bashed my forehead on a stack of weights when I bent down to get my water, that was a previous workout attempt. My cousin was with me and she was very worried. (worried she would wet her pants from laughing so hard) I benched myself after that incident. Anyway, for now, no working out but I am sticking to my diet and celebrating the fact that I have lost 3.5 pounds since January 1st. I'm really hoping that this fact alone will be enough to get me back in the gym once the doctor releases me, and he will release me. See, I'm already spinning the excuses in my head. In two weeks I will be 20 days away from my vacation, do I really want to get into a routine again only to stop and get on a cruise ship where the only exercise I'll get is carrying my plate back from the buffet? The starting is the hardest part for me and I'm just wondering if I'm setting myself up for failure. Actually, I'm starting to wonder if I haven't already accepted the failure and I'm just setting up my excuses. Wow, bad habits really are hard to break.